Dark Reign? More like Dark Lame

Pardon the bad pun, but I thought it got the point across.

I'm sick of Dark Reign already. Just like the aftermath of Civil War it has become horribly repetitive on how it affects the Marvel universe. Civil War it was all about heroes being on the run. Sounds kind of familiar doesnt it? How many heroes are on the run again, this time from Norman Osborn instead of the pro-registration heroes? How many are now faced with the consequences of a madman being in charge?

And that is probably the worst thing about Dark Reign; Norman Osborn is in charge. He's a psychopath and everyone, and I dont mean the readers, the actual Marvel universe, know he is insane and a killer. Yet he's there. Worse, Marvel feels the need to tell us he's insane every time his name is mentioned. Every. Single Time. We got it, we arent as stupid as Joe Q writing Spiderman here.

So if it's so obvious what Osborn is, why doesnt Marvel do something to actually address how he maintains public or political trust? Scratch that, dumb question. Doing that would pose a challenge and they need the quick and easy out of just ignoring to give us more "on the run" stories.

I honestly expected this to be a long diatribe about what was wrong with Dark Reign, but let's be honest, the same problems with this event are the same as the last one. Receptiveness, shallow stories and most of all, weak concept. For the bad guys supposed to be in charge, we've seen little more than "Osborn is insane" "Yeah but he's in charge" coming from writers.

Here's some advice Marvel: if you want people to buy into the story, put some effort into it. It goes a long way.

Also, I do apologize for the extended period between my last post. A lot has happened in my personal life the past month that has slowed things up.

The New War Machine Title

We're three issues into the new War Machine title and it can be summer up with one word: bad. It's not the theme or art of the book that makes it bad, it's the character. Or, I should say, what's left of the character.

Rhodeynator as I have come to call him, is just bad. He seems driven for violence, and while Rhodey was always more aggressive than Tony, he seems to want to live up to his name o "War Machine." It's not a "I'm bitter cause I'm half robot"kind of thing, he's kind of driven like he was in the first arc of his original title, only Kaminski made it work a lot more. Plus it really seems like a rehash: Rhodey works for an organization trying to correct the wrongs of the world no one else can, and does so by donning the armor. Been there, done that.

They're taking the Rhodeynator concept way too far. He's able to merge himself with other machines, case in point end of issue two where after having his legs blown off (we'll get to that point in a second) he plops himself down on a tank with it's turret ripped off and uses it as his lower body. You know, this wouldnt be bad if it were say Deathlock, but War Machine? No. The cybernetics to Rhodey are what extremis was to Tony: ill suited for the character.

Now that blowing the legs off thing I mentioned. I hould also mention his arms got blown off too. Yes, that's right, it is easy to blow off his limbs. I find it funny that we saw in execute program as Tony's armor took tank rounds point blank without getting denting, yet Rhodey's losing limbs from small arms fire. Yes, troop weapons can blow his limbs off. So not only do the bullets go through the armor, but also his cybernetic parts too. What did they make them out of, cardboard? It's pretty aggravating to see the heroes limbs keep popping off.

In the first issue we find out how Rhodey was injured: combat. Not as War Machine, not on any spectacular mission or duking it out with a super villain, he just got shot up on a regular mission. Well, I think. The writers saw fit to not make it particularly clear what exactly he was doing. You see other dead troops and him torn to bits. SO the reason he's a cyborg isnt even a good one. On the bright side though the first issue also revealed that they've been making a new body for Rhodey, and I'm not talking mechanical. It seems to be a clone or some other organic body grown in a chamber. Unfortunately with Osborn taking over he was able to get his hands on it, which is bad cause aparently Rhodey is dying even with his cybernetics. So that will probably be the next arc, him trying to get his new body back. Of course, I must stress, that's if there IS a next arc cause right now this book isnt even holding the attention of long time Iron Man and War Machine fans.

The armor was conspicuously changed to the movie armor in it's design. There was never any reason given, I'm to assume his model based on Tony's extremis armor was made useless by the Skrull virus so he had to get another. Of course, it never says that anywhere. And it's not just stylic differences of the artists. It is a black and silver version of the movie and definitely not the extremis-based armor. I'd say I want to know why but honestly I dont particularly care.

Right now the only real positive of the book is the return of Bethany Cabe. Missing since I believe the Crossing, she makes her return still as the tough-as-nails friend who knows how to get things done.

If you havent picked this title up, I honestly wouldnt suggest it unless you like seeing Rhodey buchered in more ways than one. Its not that entertaining and seeing Rhodey as a cyborg just doesnt sit well. I dont see this series lasting past twelve issues, and I think that's even stretching it.

The Red Hulk

As I believe I mentioned earlier I decided to pick up the new Hulk series featuring the Red Hulk. I was going to give it a try for about ten issues to see how it went.

The first arc was good if you like action. As you can expect with a Hulk title there was plenty of fighting and the art by Ed McGuinness was perfect for the title. While the dialogue was weak, as were some plot elements if you're an action guy like me the trade off worked.

The biggest problem was that when Red Hulk fought anyone else, they're were basically toys for him to play with. Iron Man, She Hulk, for god's sake even Thor were manhandled by the Red Hulk. Thor is a freaking god! That more than anything hurt the initial issues because Red Hulk was just too powerful.

Then of course, because Hulk fans need to be shown they're character is superior, the regular Hulk defeats Red Hulk by discovering his weakness. Nope, guys like Iron Man, one of the smartest people in Marvel, or she Hulk, a smart person herself, couldn't figure it out. Instead the guy with the mental capacity of a five year old and behavior of a wild animal figured it out. Enter facepalm.

Since the Red Hulk's defeat, the book has been aimless. Before it was trying to discover who the Red Hulk was (evidence pointed to Doc Samson, but luckily they didn't make it that obvious) but now the story of who he really is seems to be completely irrelevant. And he keeps fighting the lady superheroes cause She Hulk wants revenge. Meanwhile Hulk keeps switching between banner, Hulk and Mr Fixit (his grey incarnation) and that plot doesn't seem to lead anywhere either. McGuinness is no longer drawing the title, so even that strength is gone.

So while the series started out entertaining yet faulty, its devolved into a jumbled mess with no aim at all.

I gave it a shot, but I think it's time to start saving the $2.99.

Some Thoughts From Invincible Iron Man #10

Picking up the latest issue of Iron Man I came away a bit disappointed. It wasnt a bad issues, but it was an issue where bad things happen, and by that I dont mean bad things happen to our hero. I'm talking bad is in poorly thought out story. So if you havent gotten the issue yet, dont read because there are spoilers.


All the armors are being destroyed. Again
Seriously, how many times have all the armors been destroyed in one way, shape or form? Teen Tony blew them up so no one could get their hands on them. Then they were all destroyed during World War Hulk and trying to save the Hellicarrier from the Red Hulk. Then during Legacy of Doom Tony was melting them down. And again this arc will feature Tony sending Maria Hill to the various armories he has hidden around the world to prevent Norman Osborn from getting them. Even though he has all he needs from the ones left in Stark Tower (horrible writing on Bendis part as we all know Stark would have destroyed or shipped them out before anything). So honestly, how many more times are the armors going to be destroyed, especially since we know all of them are going to be coming back at some point in the future?

Iron Potts
Yes, that's right, Pepper now has her own Iron Man armor. Or would it be Iron Maiden? Regardless, Pepper has an armor and it's just so out of character for her. Bethany Cabe, yes, we can see that and she was fine in issue #300. But Pepper? I'm guessing at some point she is going to be bailed out by Iron Arbogast like Rhodey used to bail out Stark? I just cant see good things coming from this.

"The" Iron Man
Why in God's name does Fraction keep having everyone refer to it as "The Iron Man?" Its not a separate entity for gods sake. And worse, it's just plain annoying. Please stop.

Norman Osborn is already boring
Everything he does is so watered down that you cant possibly believe "geez, everyone is going to take his word for it?" But according to Marvel they are. I mean it's one thing we already know he's a bad guy, but there has yet to be one single convincing element of his rule that could possibly make you think anything but retarded monkeys are following him. Its like Marvel isnt even trying. Just being lazy and telling us to accept the story. Which of those two things is worse?

Someone please tell Larocca to draw Tony with a goatee
Nothing special, just draw him with the proper facial hair.



To be fair, the issue wasnt all that bad. So here are some of the pros:

The Stark-Hill Fling
In a way it was surprising, but we also knew it was coming. I mean, it is Stark. Fraction adds in some nice humor with it too.

The Hall of Armors did look cool
I admit: I'm a sucker for seeing a hall of armors. It's just cool to me, and I'm sure no one else gets sick of it.

Despite some short comings, I think Fraction gets Stark
He seems to have his personality down pretty good, and I am definitely seeing Tony do the things Fraction has him do. This is why I'm not giving up on Fraction (yet). Time will tell, but unlike most writers the past ten years, he seems to actually know who he is writing about.

A classic armor that isnt the Classic
I pointed this out in my last post, but i wanted to point it out again. It's nice to see Tony going to a more recent armor than digging all the way back to his early models. We're making progress.

Oh look, They FInally used...

... a more recent armor in the Heroes Return model as a replacement for the current out-of-commission suit. I have to say, this is quite the break through for Marvel.

How many times have we seen the current model inactive for whatever reason, so Tony is forced to use an older model, 99% of the time which is the classic red and gold armor?

I mean yeah, we get it. It's the longest running armor in IM's history and was a novelty for most the period. But its so outdated even by the subsequent Silver Centurion you have to wonder why he would actually use it? Why not throw on the Modular, Heroes Reborn, Heroes Return, Grell armor etc?

We even saw this the most recently during Secret Invasion where he was forced to take off the extremis armor and comes back with the classic. And a little before that fighting the Mandarin with the classic. I've always thought this was a very over used gimmick.

So it's finally nice to see a more recent model used. I'd say it's a step in the right direction, but I have a feeling the next time the situation comes up the Classic is going to be back.

Is this Hypocrisy, or Just the Absence of Logic?

Joe Q. You know my thoughts on him and they aren’t good. I don’t agree with a lot of the things he has done and I doubt I ever will. But more and more I realize his entire way of thinking is a contradiction. I’d say hypocritical, but I truly think he isn’t smart enough to realize it. He comes up with certain rules he wants the writers to follow, yet doesn’t realize that some of them are contradictions to others he makes. Let me explain.


Smoking is not ok
For those that don’t know, Joe Q banned any kind of smoking from appearing in comics, which is why we never see the likes of Wolverine or Nick Fury having a cigar anymore. He says it sets a bad example and can be a bad influence on younger readers. Really? Well, let me list a few things that are WORSE than smoking, but Joe Q finds perfectly alright to be in comics:
-Violence to solve disputes (pretty much every issue of every book)
-Slavery/conquering
-Drinking/alcoholism
-Intercourse/rape
-Racism (the whole mutant thing)
-Murder and genocide (take your pick)
-Incest (Ultimate Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch)

Any one of these are far worse than smoking is, yet are common themes in comics (except the last one). Am I the only one scratching their head on this?


Realism is key
Joe Q stresses realism. Why? Seriously, why? Comics are not about realism. Yes, there has to be a certain amount so that readers can relate, but he wants just about everything to be real. So let me get this straight: you are the editor in chief of a comic book company, which revolves around fiction, science fiction and fantasy, on things that CAN’T POSSIBLY HAPPEN IN THE REAL WORLD, yet he wants things be as real as possible? I mean, Tony Stark uses the most advanced technology on the planet for his Iron Man armor, supplies SHIELD with their weapons and technology, yet they still fly F-15’s? Am I the only person so utterly confused by this?



No more notes for past issues
But retconning things is ok. How can you say that a writer is not allowed to put an * and a note to show a plot line that happened in a past issue, yet instead you allow them to just wipe the story out?

Actually, now that I think of this, it makes perfect sense. Seeing as how the current writer is ignoring what the past writer did, there is no continuity and thus having the note on the past issue wouldn’t make sense. Well, guess you can strike one up for Joe Q there.



Writers and editors personal opinions mean more than the fans
Look at Spiderman with Brand New Day and Iron Man the last few years. Fans have hated the things that have happened, yet what is Marvel’s response to these fan criticisms? “Well, we think it’s good.” I got news for you Joe, the fans buy the comics and pay your salary. They’ll only tolerate your selfishness for so long.


I could probably go into a long drawn out diatribe, but I just wanted to point these few things out. I mean these things just don’t make sense to me. It’s like some twisted form of reverse logic that is anything but. If you can make sense of it, please tell me.

5 Ways to Instantly Improve Comics

When I was younger the only thing that really made a comic good to me was the action, thrill and neatness. I didn’t need a deep story, or some underlying issue or personal relationships. I just wanted something fun. And while I still want those in my comics, I have grown to appreciate the sub plots, relationships and all the other deep things that can be included. However, being older and wiser you also catch on to more things that make the comics a lot worse. And some f these problems are easily fixed, yet are stubbornly clung to.

To this end, I’ve gone and picked what I consider the five most prevalent things about comics that could easily be changed that would makes current comics multitudes better than they are now.



Less Emphasis on Shock Value/Impact
It seems every story now is written to either end in a major shocker or have a long lasting, major impact on the title. And I’m not talking the major events where it is expected, I’m talking regular character or team titles. It’s not that there is anything wrong with shock value or major impact per se, but it’s when it becomes the main intent that it turns into a problem. Honestly, when is the last time an X-Men arc was written that didn’t have some major impact on the future of Mutant kind? I’m not saying take both these elements out of comics, but writers need to lay off because it seems they are more interested in impressing their readers than actually telling them a good story.



Lay off the Dark and Foreboding Stories
Like above, it’s not a bad thing until you start doing it all the time, which is exactly what is happening. I get that “dark” is in, but why does every story have to be that way? During the entire Volume 4 or Volume 5 runs of Iron Man, has there been one story that has portrayed a sense of happiness, or some bright future ahead? Execute Program, Haunted, Five Nightmares, they’ve all had a dark and depressing tone. Comics are becoming like the news: gloom and doom. I mean, give us something to smile and cheer about for once.


Brighter Colors
Just like the stories, the colors have become more muted and darker to help get the mood across. I cannot tell you how much I loved the colors in Iron Man: Legacy of Doom because they were so bright and vibrant, and added a sense of life to the series. That’s rarely seen anymore. Bright and deep colors really give a sense of life to comics, I don't know how that’s become forgotten.


Less Politics
Seriously, people don't buy comics for politics. I don't want to know the writers opinion on serious matter x, nor do I care even if you tell me. Some politics is fine, but when it’s a major chunk of the story (i.e. Civil War) the arc takes a huge nosedive. Honestly, why would the readers care? We don't buy comics for that. In fact, we buy comics to get away from that stuff. And worse, we have to sit by and read a story that’s geared to the writer’s personal feelings, so it’s not even going o be unbiased.



That Thing Called “Continuity”
Taken directly from Webster’s Dictionary:
1 a: uninterrupted connection, succession, or union b: uninterrupted duration or continuation especially without essential change.

Let me highlight the important part for any of you who actually write for Marvel Comics:
1 a: uninterrupted connection, succession, or union b: uninterrupted duration or continuation especially without essential change.

In other words: STOP RETCONNING EVERYTHING!!!