Monday, October 13, 2008

An Open Letter to Marvel RE: Iron Man

Dear Marvel,

I would like to take the time to discuss with the matter of the character Iron Man.

As time goes on it has become apparent that you are quite enamored with the work you have done on Iron Man. You love the extremis idea, you love the way the armor looks and that it’s portrayed as easily the most powerful armor ever created. You feel that the changes extremis made to Tony Stark have set him apart from all the other characters, and that it has made people like the character. And you also whole heartedly believe that the Ultimate Iron Man is in fact not only good looking, but is good enough to be #9 in the top ten armors of all time for Iron Man.

Now, I understand you feel it’s a job well done and you want to pat yourself on the back for it. And there is nothing wrong with feeling proud of a job well done. So I feel that leaves it up to me to inform you that you need to stop.

And not only do you need to stop your back patting, you need to apologize to us readers.

Because frankly, that is what a terrible job you have done to Iron Man in recent years.

You feel Extremis, which changed Tony’s powers and his personality is the reason the character’s popularity has soared recently. Unfortunately, you couldn’t be more wrong. First to think that putting Iron Man in the spotlight AS THE BAD GUY in Civil War and World War Hulk (two monumental failures in terms of story I may add) isn’t the primary reason for his popularity surge, especially when you BLAME HIM for BOTH of the events happening is mind boggling. Secondly, extremis completely destroyed not only the main point of Iron Man, but it destroyed the character.

I know at this point you are shaking your heads in confusion, or thinking of ways to retcon the most recent major X-Men arc to make the new one more dramatic, but hear me out. You see, one of the best things about Tony Stark is that he is just a man. Yes, he is incredibly smart, incredibly rich and incredibly suave (which makes all of us jealous), but beneath it all just a man who has all the same problems as the rest of us, and sometimes more even without the super hero gig. I have found this quote to best summarize this aspect of his character:

“Super hero. Would the world really think that if they knew the full story of the frail, mortal man who lives inside this shell?” (which, by the way, you put on the back of his Marvel Series 3 trading card).

Readers could relate to him because outside of that suit he didn’t have super powers. After a battle he needed to rest and take some pain pills. He was worn down and at times broken. But not anymore, not with extremis. Now he has a layer of protection built into his body, plus a healing factor like Wolverine. Now he can plug his mind directly into computers and multitask in ways not possible for the human brain to accomplish. Tony Stark is not longer a normal man, and by doing this the connection readers have with him was severed. I, along with many others always liked the idea that I could be Iron Man. All it took was that suit, because it was never the suit that made the man, it was the man that made the suit. But now, that feeling is gone.

Even worse is how watered down and hacked apart the character has become. Tony was always a morally driven man. He cared for his employees, he always did the right thing even if it was unpopular, and the bottom line was never an issue. And now? He’s become shut down from the rest of the world, wallowing in his own thoughts. He doesn’t care how the job gets done, as long as it gets done. The bottom line is the issue, and he’ll be damned if a hundred people have to be hurt in the process. Here is a quote from the end of the Civil War saga:

“You know what it took to make me human again? War.”

How you can possibly say that is even remotely the same character as the one who said the above quote is beyond reasoning. It truly is. And don’t give me a “the character has evolved” excuse, because if that isn’t a display of character devolution I don't know what is. This is not Tony Stark. This isn’t even a hero. You should be ashamed of yourselves for even trying to compare it to who the character really is.

But I guess that’s the point isn’t it? Since no one at Marvel was able to correctly write the character after Kurt Busiek left the book, instead of taking the time to read past issues you instead just butchered the character to such a shallow level of depth that anyone could write him and do anything with him.

(Note: if you’re still trying to think of a good X-Men retcon arc here- Xorn was never Magneto, nor was it its own entity. It was just a powerful telepath manifesting the whole idea into everyone’s heads. There, now you have your six issue made for trade paperback arc and you can pay attention again).

Now let’s talk about the armor. Why exactly is it good? Just cause the character’s popular? Sorry, not the case. This model is said to be the most advanced ever, yet other than reaching speeds of mach 8 I have yet to see it demonstrate capabilities greater than the 1980’s Neo Classic red and gold armor (that’s the one after the Silver Centurion since I’ve noticed from your armor designations you don’t even know what order the armors were made in). I’ve seen models much older that didn’t even have digital displays shoot down hypersonic missiles, yet the extremis armor can’t target a Skrull with Mr. Fantastic’s powers because it was too fast? Hmm, interesting, especially since all the hype about how the armor’s direct patching into his brain makes for even quicker reaction time. Where are all the secondary weapons? How about the shields? You know, other than the harnessing power from nuclear reactors, there actually hasn’t been one single thing about this armor that has impressed people. And the aesthetics? Ugh. You say it’s streamlined, but if that were true the torso wouldn’t be all plated, and those weird toe things that have yet to serve any function wouldn’t be there. What’s with the blocky, oddly shaped shoulder armor? What’s with covering the triceps but not biceps? And why does the helmet slope in such a way it makes his head look alien? Please explain to me what is so impressive about this armor, because I’m not seeing anything here.

Oh and the Ultimate armor? I get it’s an alternate reality and you want to make things different (btw, kudos for making Ultimate Spiderman way different than the mainstream, so different readers have to look at the title to tell if they’re reading Ultimate or mainstream), but this suit just isn’t likeable. It looks kind of like the ASIMO robot they made over in Japan. And what’s with those goggles for the eyes? Really? This is the most low tech looking suit since the original grey armor, now 45 years old. It’s actually so aesthetically unpleasing that it distracts from the story. I know some will say you’re just playing it up because it’s what is currently on the market and good for business, but I know you Marvel. We both know that’s not the case. You are truly enamored with this suit that nearly every fan finds repulsive. Only two other times have I seen an armor this reviled: the Crossing Armor and the SKIN armor, both of which had very short runs. But of course you know that because you listen to the fans right?

So let me sum this up for before you go on to your next “Hulk beats everyone up” project. You’ve watered down the character and ripped out what made him so appealing. You’ve watered down the armor. You’ve ignored the past for the sake of expedience. And that you haven’t listened to the long time Iron Man fans that have kept the book around for so long is quite disconcerting, because if you did you would have gone back to the way things were.

But I know sorting things out isn’t your way. It takes thought and time and neither of those are things you can afford to use. So I will offer you the easy way out that you always take that will, for once, benefit us all. Retcon. Go back to Volume 4, Issue #1 where extremis started and wipe it out. All of it. Because that’s when the character truly started to go down hill.

That is when Iron Man stopped be Iron Man.

But I don’t expect you to listen to me. I’m a fan and my opinion doesn’t matter. Only your personal feelings do. Spiderman fans will attest to that with Brand New Day.

Sincerely,

Chaos
Iron Man fan.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am giving you a standing applause with a massive erection. I VOTE FOR MAKING THE MOVIE ARMOR THE NEW ARMOR AND TURNING TONY HUMAN AGAIN!!!

Chaos said...

Well, thank you. Didnt think I made that good of an argument, but nice to see I did.

While I'm not that big a fan of the movie armor (even though it did look sweet), Turning Stark back into a normal human is easily the best thing that can be done for his character.

Thanks for the comment.

cranberry said...

Dude, just yes. I've come back to comics after a decade away, and I'm like, "Where's the Stark I loved?"