Review of Marvel's Top Ten Iron Man Armors

I meant to do this before the launch of the movie, but honestly forgot to. Still, I think it is something worth covering.

When celebrating Iron Man month as a means to build hype for the movie, Marvel posted their top ten Iron Man armors. Now, I understand no one will ever fully agree on a subject such as this for anything, but some of the things here were just piss poor in my opinion. I’ll list the rank, the armor and then my thoughts on Marvel’s rank.

you can find the original article here: http://www.marvel.com/news/comicstories.3417.Take_10~colon~_Iron_Man~apos~s_Armory


10) Mark IV Red and Gold
Marvel’s Take: Iron Man's most recent armor before going Extremis laid the groundwork for both his current look and the character's big screen appearance. A clean, modern-looking design that came into prominence in particular when rendered by digital painter Adi Granov, this armor propelled the Golden Avenger into the present.

Chaos Take: First let me say Marvel has by far the worst model designations of anyone I have ever seen, and yet they created the character. Sorry, the red and gold armors don’t by Red and Gold Mark whatever. Secondly, there was nothing special of this armor at all. It’s low tech looking and has a 50’s scifi faceplate. If by “clean and modern” looking they meant “plated with a bunch of ridges and looking slightly more sophisticated than medieval knight armor” than yes, I agree with them. As for bringing him into the present, well here are some armors that predate this one that look much more advanced: War Machine, Modular, Heroes Reborn, Heroes Return, Grell armor (first version).


9) Ultimate Iron Man
Marvel’s Take: It would have been easy for artist Bryan Hitch to at least stick to the basic template when bringing Iron Man over to the Ultimate Universe, but his decision to reinvent the wheel—or repulsor ray—made for an impressive and bold visual feast. The bulky and intricate look reflected how a suit of battle armor might look in the real world and set Ultimate Iron Man apart from any other incarnation of Shellhead

Chaos Take: It was at this time (mind you the second armor into the list) I realized Marvel had decided to merely put the more recent armors in the top ten list to A) pat themselves on the back for their perceiving a job well done and B) promote any current or recent armor. I think many Iron Man fans will agree the Ultimate armor is in fact one of, if not the worst armor design ever. Even for being in an alternate dimension it sucks. They had a chance to be creative and break from the norm of the designs and go wild (which despite their claim they didn’t really), instead they created some crappy robot thing. To put this armor in anything but the ten worst list is mind boggling to me. If that armor is a visual feast, this is me visually throwing up.


8) Original Grey
Marvel’s Take: So Tony Stark's a dude who gets critically injured in a war-torn area, becomes a P.O.W. and is forced to use his giant brain to make a giant weapon for giant jerks. Giving them the proverbial finger, he creates a badass suit of über-destructive armor out of scraps and detritus, puts it on, stomping and shooting his way to freedom. The classic grey armor—or Mark I, if you will—may seem a little hokey by today's standards, but it's a testament to Tony Stark's genius and indomitable will. Plus, the old-school robot look never goes out of style

Chaos Take: It’s hard to argue with the original. It’s cold, robotic Frankenstein look was perfect for the time, hell even now because there is nothing fancy about it. It’s big, bulky, low tech and gets the job done.



7) Hulk Buster Mark I
Marvel’s Take: Despite being used exactly one time—and not even used successfully—the original Hulkbuster suit has been immortalized in both action figure and video game form in the years since its 1994 curtain call. Why the appeal? Well, it's a gigantic friggin' Iron Man armor that can go toe-to-toe with the Hulk—what more do you need?"

Chaos Take: Um, hate to break to this to you Hulk fanboys at Marvel, the fight was, at worst, a stalemate and at best Stark winning. They stopped fighting to talk it out, it had nothing to do with either getting a major upper hand. But like I said, that’s what happens when fanboys run the show. Anyways, they are actually right in the fact that despite being used once it immediately found its way into our “things in comics that are awesome” category and we all still love it and have been hoping for its return (and not like that monstrosity in Marvel’s Hulk Hard-on event).




6) Stealth Armor
Marvel’s Take: In the history of Iron Man, there aren't many more radical departures from his classic look than the first Stealth Armor, but there aren't many cooler departures either. Besides the fact that it's jet black, automatically raising its awesome quotient, the Stealth Armor also serves has actual reasonable science—or at least pseudo-science—behind how it works thanks to the wizardry of David Michelinie and Bob Layton."

Chaos Take: I wouldn’t call it a radical departure in terms of looks, because other than sharper boots and gauntlets and a new paint job there wasn't a whole lot different visually. It is neat, especially since it made Tony fight even more with his brains than fists because it lacked weapon systems. As for the pseudo science, if they give Bob and Dave credit they sure as hell should give Kaminsky credit because of all the Iron Man writers he has displayed a level of technological knowledge greater than any others. But I have no problem with this armor being on the list.




5) Extremis Armor
Marvel’s Take: Unlike any other Iron Man suit, the Extremis virus allows its user to store armor in the hollow of his bones and instantaneously utilize it at any time. The Extremis armor responds more quickly to user commands and provides interface with all external communications systems, from cellular phones to satellites. Extremis also boats increased repulsor technology for both energy projection and flight as well as greatly enhanced healing capabilities.

Chaos Take: (cough) bullshit (cough) Sorry about that, had something in my throat. For all those advantages they listed, we have yet to see any single one actually be improved outside maybe propulsion. In fact, given how the suits are displayed in the comics, I would say nothing after the Silver Centurion would have a problem kicking the crap out of this thing. This is definitely Marvel being all gushy on themselves on something they think is a great accomplishment when it’s anything but. This armor doesn’t even know if it wants to be high or low tech looking. It’s supposed to be smoothed and streamlined yet is plated all over the torso, plus has extra components on the legs and arms that stick out. Terrible choice.




4) Red and Gold Mark II
Marvel’s Take: The nice thing about this late '80s revamp of the standard red and gold armor Iron Man had worn for years prior was that it really looked of the times. It retained the classic elements and basic design of the long-tenured suit, but streamlined stuff that no longer fit such as the lined underoos and giant hip discs. This armor allowed fans to have their cake and eat it too, with an Iron Man who looked familiar, but not dated

Chaos Take: It’s actually the Neo Classic armor after the Silver Centurion. Apparently Marvel has failed to realize there were variations before what we now know as the Classic Red and Gold got to its final incarnation. But hey, why would the guys in charge of Iron Man’s history k now that? Anyways, this went back to a more recognizable design, being a modern (for the time) version of the Classic after the big departure that was the Silver Centurion. It had a simple yet advanced look and lasted quite a while so I don’t have a problem with its choice.




3) Classic Red and Gold
Marvel’s Take: This may not have been the first armor and it may not be sported by Tony any time soon, but you can't deny that every armor since then has been influenced by this beauty. Sleek lines and a forward-thinking look made for one of the most iconic costumes in comic book history. It's also impressive that this costume doesn't make Iron Man look like a robot—it's clearly a man in armor, which makes it apparent that Iron Man isn't defined just by the armor. It's the man inside who truly powers this hero."

Chaos Take: It’s the classic, what would you really want me to say that you aren’t thinking? It really did start the advance look, even more so than the previous red and gold armors which really looked flimsy at times.




2) Silver Centurion
Marvel’s Take: Shaking up the red and gold standard with this variation was controversial at the time, but it's amazing how all that venom has been replaced by fond nostalgia these days. This is easily one of the sleekest, cleanest looking armors that Iron Man ever sported, with a color scheme that still looks wildly different from his other incarnations, but awesome in its own right."

Chaos Take: Face it, we all love the Silver Centurion. A radical departure from what became the norm, it wasn't just the looks that differed but also the systems. It was the biggest leap in power from one suit to another, as it manhandled many enemies that once gave the classic armor a lot of trouble. It looked great and you really got a sense of power and advanced technology from it.



1) War Machine
Marvel’s Take: Really, is there a much 'cooler' looking armor than this one? From the shocking amount of weaponry to the very basic color scheme, this suit screams 'you're in trouble' to evildoers everywhere. Not only is it part of a great story with Tony being replaced with Rhodey, it's also the armor that we associate with the awesome character known as War Machine! Sure, other armors may be more powerful, sleeker and a tad less ridiculous when it comes to all the visible deadly weapons, but there's no denying that this is the one suit that you know means business.

Chaos Take: I wouldn’t say “you’re in trouble” so much as “you’re @&#$ed” as to what it screams. The War Machine is great because it shows if Stark wants to just beat the crap out of you he can and will. It’s more menacing face plate and cold color scheme along with the weapons gave it an incredibly intimidating look. I’m surprised Marvel was able to get this one right. But maybe its just that obvious.